Monday, September 19, 2005

Saw the 40 year old virgin this weekend. It gets a tentative “eh.” Hilarious first 45 minutes, then a precipitous drop off the cliff of “trying to be meaningful.” And I will never forgive the “let’s have him still be a virgin and marry a grandma” dillio. If I ruined it for you, sorry, but save yourself the agony, wait for the rental and push stop after the chick barfs on him.

The raiders lost again, a game they had about a billion opportunities to win, and now they’re 0-2 and heading to phillie next weekend. Did I mention phillie looks like a juggernaut again all of sudden? Oh well. At least they did against SF, which ain’t too big an accomplishment.

Cal’s a quiet 3-0, even though they ain’t really played anyone yet. Amazing what winning can do. We’ve got our coach tied up for the next few years with a fat contract, and some anonymous persona came out of the woodwork with a 25 million dollar donation earmarked toward a new stadium a month or two ago. Anyone who says big time college football is not important, cast them into the sea. It begats the bottom line in ways that naysayers would never imagine without geniuses like me to clarify. Sarcasm alert in G-minor. Meaning, grain of salt be damned.

Things I did in new york I ain’t mentioned yet: went to the Yankees/red sox game on 9/11, saw spamalot on broadway, went to a beer festival in Brooklyn, had maybe the best hamburger of my life at JG Melon’s on the upper east side (sorry in & out), hit up the Museum of modern art, the Guggenheim, and the Metropolitan museum of art, went to the top of the empire state building, statue of liberty, ellis island, and don’t forget, jesus Christ PLEASE don’t forget, the irish potato famine monument. I also did a bunch of other shit which doesn’t cubbyhole into 3 word description. Thus I won.

Also, tomorrow I’m moving to atlantic city to become a professional blackjack player slash robot street performer. I’m thinking about joining the moonies, too. If they still exist. Wish me luck.