Posted 1:16 PM by Alfred

hey hey fat albert styles. Listening to the new kool keith, volume 2 basement tapes or some shit like that. Ok, nothing to do with the basement. Keith just said “sucking the cock like a john lennon fan.” Gotta love it. Lost Masters volume 2. that’s the ticket. Does he just cull the left overs and throw it at the record company? If so, that’s just beautiful, cuz shit is wild. Wilder than 98% of the industry on their best day with their best rap with their eyes all squinted in concentration trying to vibe with the innermost domains of their secret souls. Ferreal.

I can’t get enuff of weezer lately. Is that bad? Should I be ashamed of myself? I have no reason of which to ask you that? Okay let’s polish this up. Let’s be professional. Let’s say something substantive. I mean, who just writes just to write. Ok lots of people, but that doesn’t make it OK. This is that which should be desecrated on a pile of spam blocked literati. Whatever the FUCK that means. See that’s meaningful. If I didn’t tell you, you might miss it. Btw a weezer song suddenly inspired me to write up a synopsis of a horror movie which may have been the best and most original idea of my whole career. See, it’s this guy with a hockey mask who some bitch at a summer camp let him drown as a kid while she was getting boned. But seriously, I did come up with an original idea. I was unaware there were any left. Watch for it in a theatre in 2018. I’ll keep you posted. Now I just have to figure out how the hell you write a screenplay. Is Mr. Peter a good name for a wiener dog that loves murdering lumberjacks? Dammit, I’m giving too much away. Scratch that.

Cal’s in the ncaa tourney. You don’t care. It’s ok, though, cuz I do. They’re playing NC state, the same team, inexplicably, that they played (and beat) in the first round the last time they made the tourney, in 2003. I was proud of the golden bears this weekend as they made it all the way to the pac10 conference finals before finally breaking down in exhaustion and getting smacked by a very tough UCLA squad.

Now that’s what they call professional sports reporting. SI? ESPN? Blah blah weekly? Y’all reading this? My services are for hire. For 8 billion an hour. Har har. No, no, really, much less than that. Talk to me, let’s talk, we’ll work a deal out, it’s a win win. I mean, look at the hard hitting hofstra expose that I did. Yup, scroll down, it’s down there, and if it’s not, trust me, it was really good. All about that carlos Rivera dude and how he’s totally not Lancelot Clokey or even anything like him, down to the degree that if there is a complete opposite of Lancelot Clokey, then Carlos Rivera is it. See? I combined literature and sports and high society in one fell swoop. Your welcome and if you say the check’s in the mail I’ll yelp bullshit but sit in the corner and sulk and accept the situation, cuz reality’s reality and net 30’s just the way it is, even on a good day.

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