Posted 2:02 PM by Alfred

Man o fricken man it’s like slamola city up in here. Not salami style but pure genoan, if you get my driftola, na mean. Everything’s ola, including the pay, because in order to play, the cash flolas gotta be rolla, like pollyana on a Tuesday or a Thursday, when she’s shut up in the crib watching sesame street and cookin up flapjacks for moose mcgillicuddy and the 37th squad. I didn’t just pick 37 at random, ok, yeah I did. You caught me. Now whutcha gonna do? Get your humpty hump out of my rumpty rump and step on down to the price is right section of our board. You have won an outboard motor for your indoor swimming pool. See? The gross national product is now all effed up thanks to your inconsiderate ass.

I seem to have a moment of respite. During which I should tell you something of consequence. Oops, those things are all for the secret files. You can only download them at, eh, you can’t download them. They’re kinda not really the jenny thang of which you were thinking (or weren’t) anyway, so don’t stress.

I can tell you that I’m taking a screenwriting class and that I really like it, like really. I pay attention and take notes and everything. I actually look forward to being there and, gasp, learning. Wow, if this invention had been invented when I was actually going to college for credits and a degree and shit like that I coulda been the #1 stunner of the set, like, actually, being there and, uh, worthwhiling it? Not that I didn’t do that of the verb that I have just made up, but slacking and jackaloping were things that were sometimes involved in certain sectors of the endeavor.

So yeah, I’m writing, er, working on, er, outlining, er, fuck, I’m doing something with this screenplay idea I have. It’s totally under wraps. There’s like 8 levels of security that I have to go through even to look at the notes myself, let alone someone unauthorized. I don’t wanna pigeonhole it too much, but think Gone with the Wind meets Police Academy, and I’m gonna do for spuds mckenzie what pulp fiction did for John Travolta. Keep an eye out.


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