Friday, June 11, 2004




So if the jurk storr calls you gotta tell em something really important for me. It’s that if the giraffe calls tell them that the zebra flies at midnite. Mmmkaay? Say it with me. You will do this. No, don’t shake your head, nod it, and then say it. Oh you bastardless bastardized bastard sword of a bastard, I can’t believe you’d look at me like that. Oh wait, you’re not a bastard? That’s not my problem you little goatless son of a motherless Aphrodite clone. That’s on long beach so don’t even try to give it no questioning. It cannot be perused and it cannot be misused. It is, of course, this, this charade of a game playing fuckwad, that just makes me think.

Why? That is the one question that cannot be answered that beats the super computer general in dvd 4 episode 2 of the prisoner dvd series. I know becuz I am an expert on them even though I’ve only seen the first 4. and cowboy bebop. But don’t tell me whut happens. Oh and I got wind of but still ain’t watched the legend of the overfiend. Heh. Now you know, foohs, I am THE master blaster when it comes to gastric bypass surgery.



Thursday, June 10, 2004


Yo. I’m wasting a bunch of time looking for comic book pictures for the ultimate important task of accompanying some dogshit post I haven’t even written yet, and YES mr. Gates I believe dogshit is a word, go ahead and underline it, you can’t damper my shine yo.

So, yah, I’ve got a gmail account now. It’s jurkstorr@gmail.com, so if you could please send me an e-mail to it so I could try it out and shit, that would be excellent. I promise I'll answer you, and it's not just because i'm such a giving person, it's partially due to the selfish motives of wanting to see its streaming dialogue or whatever feature. bleh. uh, yah, ok, edit over. I wasn’t gonna even bother with it (gmail) but then I started seeing here & there people auctioning those mofos off and like doing contests or whatever and that gmail invites are being sold on e-bay and shit and that clinched it for me, if other people consider it valuable to that degree I might as well check it out, and uh, well, at this point I have nothing to say on the subject of its quality or whatever, I’ll reserve that judgment I guess. Reservation for 83, please, and I’d like a table by your finest ferns. Gracias.

So yah, fuck, I don’t know whut to say really, lots of retarded shit floating through my mental as usual. Reading the time mag article on ronnie ray-gun, and, well, I still aint gonna call him evil incarnate but I’m not running out and buying his commemerative bumper sticker neither, so you can let that lead you to whatever opinion of my politics of that which you will. Homey had an effect. Before him, we were, how do you say? Fucked up. No guts no glory. Just a bunch of poon doggers hanging our heads in our onion dip. Ok I am officially done with that topic. Yeah he was super ignorant of some stuff and he laughed at bob hope’s fucked up aids joke about the statue of liberty, but fuck, listen to fresh prince & dj jazzy jeff’s first album sometime. “all y’all out there that got AIDS, be quiet,” am I the only one that remembers that? Ok and yah, that was ray-gun’s fault maybe for trivializing it, and poisoning society's views, but, hey it was the common perception and ronnie ray was the common man, I mean, shit, he was the gipper! and can one man be that powerful, does one man's lack of speech on a topic therefore make him responsible for a nation full of homophobes and non-caring individuals? a point could be made either way and prolly has been made all ways. FUCK, stop editing this shit keith, you are done, it is 11:06, and the dishes are NOT done, this ain't black belt jones, you can't just shoot them. Yah, but fuck ronnie. serially though, i know my logic line is fucked up, but i'm not trying to like justify inequitudes vis a vis calling out will smith and trying to compare, even though i am, if you could see in my head, maybe it would all make sense, fuck, would be nice if someone could sort it out. what's your hourly rate? i gotta couch and everything, and like notepads you could draw on while you pretend to listen to me. think about it. anyway, edit #2 over.

FUCK. Enuff iz enuff iz enuff I can’t go on I can’t go on I can’t go on! Yah that’s from an old eddie Murphy tape but he stole it from someone else prolly. Remember that skit where he pretends it’s Richard simmons meets buckwheat? Yah, that was the ticket. Fuck, getting all kines 80’s flashbacks now. i remember i used to have to take my OG tape recorder deep into the woods when we'd go camping so i could listen to eddie murphy and my mom not hear all those f-words. it was like liberating in that i was breaking the law. ok not the law, but, like, bounds of decency. ok edit #3 over, and no more notating them either, that's just juvenile and that other adjective meaning shitty.

Ok it’s 10 to 11 which means I gotta do some dishes and figure out some food shit and hit the mufuckin hay and somewhere in there read some magazine bullshit and like, maybe, fuck, I dunno, flip around channels or like peep a dvd prisoner episode. Yah, you know how we do it. Dom perignon is required up in this piece. Believe that. And yes I am the ultimate in political correspondence talk radio. Aloha.



Wednesday, June 09, 2004


hey fitz, I know that was kind of a smart ass answer to your comment, but oh well, I am what i eat (wait, hold on, ok, that's a whole nother issue altogether). Anyway, it's time for me to go to bed, like, officially, but i was doing some googling, and i found this blog post which seems to exonerate our dear friend slash enemy mr. reagan from the mountains of blame for all the people that died and are still dying of aids. i'm no political expert and or anykine knowledgable whatever, and am therefore not sure at this point of tiredness to recognize its validity, but i'm just throwing it out there for y'all to toy with, ya know, nice to be cognizant of the other side of the coin as well as the pillow, ya heard? otay, i'm outtie, peace slash aloha all that stuff.



Monday, June 07, 2004




Hmmm, so, yah, whutsup. So, like, everyone’s throwing their 2 cents about this whole Ronnie Reagan dying thing. My first thought on this subject was: big deal? I mean, if he’d died in any kind of cogent frame of mind, yeah, then I could see the versimmilitude, but, well, he was wacked. Truss me I know, my gramps got sucked in by the alzheimers and it’s like, at the end, the person you knew is no longer there, at the end, honestly, I don’t even know if you could say, without fooling yourself, that there’s even a flicker. And, yeah, it still sucks, and yeah I feel for the family, but at that point, it’s almost a relief, rather than a tragedy. No more 24 hour nurse, no more feedings, no more bathroom patrol, no more whole 9 yards. The eulogy should have been 5, 10, whatever years ago when he last had a thought that didn’t involve looking at a spot on the wall and drooling. Eh, whatever, RIP I say, everybody else can get all pissed about it that he didn’t do this and he did that and he lied here and he was just a dopey figurehead and all of it is prolly true but, fuck, he carried us through the cold war which I guess wasn’t so much a contest as we thought, although it looked hectic there at the time, and, well, serially, I hope he’s up there with the gipper or whatever the fuck, I don’t know, his old dog millie, or was that bush 1? Eh whatevs. I got no major beefs with the guy. Yeah, he could’ve saved a shitload of gay aids infested peeps by proliferating a lot more info, but, fuck, a lot of people could have done that, I don’t see you setting up a fucking protest march against Rock Hudson, and he fukn denied 1) that he was a homo and 2) that he had AIDS until basically the day he died, he coulda done a lot more, and he did, ironically, after his death, by people spreading the word after the fact, but, fuck, fuck, I mean, shit, it was a fucked up time, nobody knew what the fuck was going on, and yeah, Reagan was a psychotic shitball with his own agenda that could’ve cared less about a few dead gaylords and heroin freaks, but fuck, he wasn’t the only one, truss on that, and yeah, fuck nancy and just say no, but, I don’t know, the weird thing is, with Reagan, you felt like shit was getting taken care of, even though he was a doddering old man that seemed half fuckn retarded even before senility officially hit, I mean, I felt more secure with my government, iran contra notwithstanding, than I do now, could be I was a naïve kid and I'm just way more aware these days, could be i've been overly poisoned by my liberal education and the media, could be I just don't drink enough ovaltine anymore. who knows. oh well.