dr. doooom's answering machine

i'm blogging the draft at a dog named clipper

so it’s the biggest day of the year for those that give half a rat’s asshole burger about the los angeles clippers. That’s right, kids, draft day. Seeing as how the actual season usually is a dreadful debacle and that the playoffs are a foreign concept dating back to that fluke season in 96 when the were swept out of the first round by the jazz, well, you get the picture, and even if you don’t, well, I’m still covered. Or not. Fuck, whatever.

So yeah, I decided not to, no, not like that, well, I was gonna say, ah fuck it, why do I even do this any more? Oh yeah, finger exercise. Gotta keep those didjies limber, na mean? Sure you don’t. well, overall hand exercises too, I guess, and upper body. Hold up, I’m gonna do some pushups now that I got myself motivated. Fuck I ran like the farthest ever yesterday. If you know Honolulu geography, imagin running all the way from the pali to the likelike along school street, that’s what I did basically except one block short, but then I ran this giant hill up into the mountains and all over these like boonie spots with dogs barking at me and shit.

I like living in town. Lots to see. Scenery & shite like that. It’s pretty amazing how far you can get on foot, like, seeing way below the downtown area that I usually run through. I’m like, getting in shape. It’s scary. Ok, no it’s not. Ok yes it is, actually, no it’s not. Fuck it I’mma delete this whole paragraph.

There, I called the publisher, this haphazard outfit, but they usually do what I say, and I have said that it is vitally important that none of this be read. Bueno. Oh yeah, aloha.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Posted 12:00 PM by Alfred

Ok yah yesterday’s post was like the mythological equivalent of retardo montalban, an overused phrase, yet nonetheless apropos, and I don’t want you to think that I think that that hembeck cartoon was necessarily hilariously funny, it was like, mildly amusing, but you know, seriously, I’m more underground than that, it was just that in that it had flash & green arrow talking about their teenage sidekicks, it seemed too on topic not to include in the diatribe, but, I mean, if I was really being like that which I am which is so vague and unknown I would have put in some cartoon by some deep and misunderstood genius like keith is cool, speaking of which, where the hell is that guy? He dropped off the face of the negasphere. Maybe meltingdoll’s got the info, ie the, no, I won’t do that, I won’t start dropping played out mary j. blige euphemisms on yo ass like that, it wouldn’t be prudent, no, shit, I won’t drop escaladed bush senior wherewithalls like I forgot my oversized overalls, that shit ain’t cool.

now THAT’s hardcore political commentary.

Aloha.

PS: I just noticed those random blatant mofos are like dropping small kine knowledge again. Btw, I am not commissioned to say that. Serially.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Posted 2:39 PM by Alfred

Oh the humanity. This is pretty funny stuff. Reviews of the worst movies and television kine shit ever. Stumbled on it on some random google search I was doing. I found the thrashings of the live action justice league pilot and the 70’s star wars holiday special especially stimulating to the funny bone. Ok, they’re the only ones I read so far. Sue me. No, don’t, I can’t afford it. Dammit, too late the seed has been planted in your mind.

Mmmkay, now I’m gonna wander away and play video games and come back to this and talk about something totally irrelevant to what I was talking about and you’re gonna accept it, vis a vis, never viewing this space of the web again if you know what’s good for you. Adieu.

Well that was a time. And now, for the lunch. Peace.

update: but don’t forget this classic 1979 version of justice league which was a roasting with a bunch of supes, including adam west & burt ward as batman & robin, chiggeddy check it.

There was one other one, dammitt, some serious one in the late 70’s, or maybe not, maybe, maybe it’s the crack again. Oh yeah, it’s in the same episode. Fuck, that imdb page sucks ass actually, there’s gotta be a better reference tool, or, shit, it was like, one second it was telling me a bunch of stuff, and then it was being retarded.

Here’s a hembeck cartoon just to get all superfriends, er, I mean, justice league up in this piece.

Oh & speaking of superfriends, you can’t ever neglect to mention the masterful seanbaby’s Grecian ode to that therein overpropogated, nay, underachieved, nay, just flat out hilario environ.

And ok I know that hembeck should be forever lambasted becuz of that one issue of peter parker they let him draw, and it was a critical ish, even though lame villain, it was, like, the last chapter, or at least the last section of a chapter, on the relationship between spider-man & the black cat, all explained SO perfectly in this madgoblin article on the 10 worst spidey tales ever. It’s #7. well, along with the 2nd chapter where they got serious. Yes you get the picture.

Ok I’ve dorked out hard enough today.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Posted 6:38 PM by Alfred

For some reason unbeknownst I have this disavowal towards inputting information, metaphorical, or otherwise, into this here environ, which was recently conquered, the issue not the space, or rather, the problem not the locality. Whatever, you prolly don’t get it which is all well and good and better for all concerned as you don’t need to know my wherewithalls and I most certainly don’t need to know yours. Hmmm. Anyhoo, there’s all kinds of jinx bathroom shit going on, which is neither here nor there, but if I had to guess one or the other I’d say here. No, there. Shit, can’t remember.

It’s funny how the less you care about something the more hardcore you think it is, but, well, in reality, the more you care, the more real deal holyfield that shit will prolly become, but is that necessarily true? I don’t necessarily think so. And who said you can’t use the same word over again in two sentences in a row? I don’t recall being around when that proclamation was proclaimed, and therefore consider it disregarded.

I look at the state of that which is, in many different spheres, and I’m both ecstatically happy and devastatingly sad. I have so much to say yet it all adds up to zero. I was gonna say less than zero, but 80’s kitsche is so over with. I used to not know when things were over with, and I prolly still don’t, but what matters is that now I think I know, and knowing is half the battle. Fuck, is that 80’s kitsche? Nah, GI Joe goes beyond 80’s, beyond 60’s, shit, it’s from back in the day if I’m not mistaken. But did they have that saying before that cartoon version of it?

See this is why I don’t do this on the days in which it is not done. It’s because if the product is diluted, which it always is in any event, it’s like, what was done? That which shouldn’t have been achieved. Why is it that the less I say the more I say, and the more specific information, ie that which might possibly be understood, is transferred into said medium, the less happy I am with the end result and I think it’s like, bourgeois, or, for example, typical of a type of thing which is already sweeping the nation ad infinitum. I really don’t know the answer to that question, but if you analyze it with a clear and open mind, or rather, I mean, your mind could be diluted and scattered, I guess it wouldn’t hurt, and in fact might help, the process, well, you’ll see that it’s an entirely objective question which only I can answer for myself and which only you, obviously, can answer for YOURself, and, well, you see, there’s just no proper way to end this but to end it, and I hope you enjoyed today’s production of the price is right. Now come on down and collect your prize. Yes, it’s nothing, except that which you learned, which as is so often the case in the great circle of life, that which it was at the start, ie nothing. Congrats.