Friday, June 28, 2002

Hung over.

Will blog later.

Went to the Wave (Waikiki nightclub) last night. Underground hip-hop show. Way fun but too many beers. tune in later for the lowdown.

I feel shitty.

Thursday, June 27, 2002

I just realized that although the Clippers picked up two talented power forwards in the draft, they already have Elton Brand, one of the best at the position in the league this year, in my opinion. Are they planning a trade or are they just stupid? They are the Clippers. They just are. Yet I care. Why?

Well right now I'm bumping an album that if you had about 8,000 guesses you wouldn't ever think it. It involves two very high profile pop culture figures from the early-mid nineties. Also it doesn't suck as much as you would think it would. The Beavis and Butthead Experience. I am stuck with a casette player or radio, so times are desperate. Now, you would think that this album would be the shittiest thing in the world, but there are some hidden gems. There's a pretty good Nirvana track, Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Monsta Mack" (an all time classic), a Primus cut, Run-DMC (an admittedly inferior song from the hollis crew), but the true diamond in the rough is an Anthrax cover of the classic Beastie Boys song "Looking down the barrel of a gun."

Other than that, actually, it does kinda suck. But all I have is extreme radio and a cassette player so cut me some slack jack.

The new Eminem CD, from what I've heard so far, is awesome. I really like the cut with Nate Dogg. Last week I read in Bill Simmon's column on ESPN page 2 the most appropriate comparison of a music artist and an athlete I've ever run across. Nate Dogg is the Robert Horry of the rap world, and vice versa. Both of them cannot be a success by themselves but if you mix them in with other talent you've got an instant hit. Think about it: Robert Horry is a great player, but he's no franchise guy. But he always wins championships, never as the main guy, but he's clutch city, the ultimate role player. As for Nate Dogg, I mean every song he does a guest shot on goes through the roof, be it with Snoop, Ludacris, Eminem, anybody. Alright enough of this jibba jabba, I gotta go drink some milk or something.

Cal's Jamal Sampson got picked up in the NBA draft's 2nd round yesterday at no. 47. This just reeks of one of those cautionary tales of someone jumping to the NBA too soon. I've got bad visions of this guy getting frustrated and tanking out. A damn shame cuz if he'd waited another year or two he could've been a first rounder, maybe even a lottery pick. I know the money's a draw, but patience, patience, it's not just a cheesy Guns N Roses ballad.

The Clippers picked up a few good players yesterday. Chris Wilcox outta Maryland and Melvin Ely outta Fresno State. Supposedy Wilcox was a steal at the 8th pick and I know Ely's good after watching him beat up on the Hawaii Rainbows the last couple years. So good draft it seems like, two big talented power forwards. OK I guess I can shut up about the Clips for a while.

If you haven't checked out Mr. T vs. Eminem yet, do yourself a favor. I just don't get tired of this thing. I've decided I'm gonna try to use the phrase "jibba jabba" in my everyday conversation as much as possible.

"Hey Alfred, are you gonna be in there for much longer, I gotta go"
"Enough of this jibba-jabba, I'm trying to read the sports page, sucka!"

Cool tidbit of information: Did you know that Aunt May has discovered her fragile nephew's secret identity of spider-man? I was blown away by this. For forty years the poor guy's been lying to his aunt cuz he was afraid she'd give her a heart attack, but she came in his apartment when he was resting up after getting his ass beat for like two days straight, and caught him with his spidey pants on. Check it out at marvel on-line (link to the left) - cool site cuz you can read comics on line for free. And free is always good.

Also since I'm pimping out my links on the left hand side of the page. Click on Tony Pierce. Very, very entertaining site, you will thrill you will chill you will spill your dill.

Well hidey-ho gotta go. Feel free to e-mail me at with any jibba-jabba that you're too shy to put in as a shout-out.

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

This is just un-frikkin-believable. As if it wasn't bad enough being a Cal fan, this had to happen. For those of you suffering through dial-up and don't want to click the link, I'll give you the gory details. Cal football is on probation or whatever for five years and can't go to a bowl game even if they win all their games this year. This is just FUKN pathetic. I mean if you're going to cheat, cheat to win. Don't cheat and then go 1-10 or whatever Cal went last year. This is just too frustrating. I mean to suck so hard and get busted for cheating. Why did they bust Cal, of all the teams in the NCAA?? Isn't Nebraska or Miami doing something illicit amidst all that success? Why pick on the shittiest team in the country? Just when we'd gotten a new coach, new direction, new hope, we're screwed from the get-go. AARRGGHH. it drives me nuts.

OK I feel better now. If anyone has a comment don't forget the handy-dandy "shout-out" button. I'm still trying to call it something other than "shout-out" and make it smaller but well I'm not Bill Gates so cut me some slack.

Go Bears, I guess (%$#&@)

Well I've got a few spare minutes and thought I'd tell you all about how it went on the trek out to Circuit City last night to score a boom box for the office. Cuz It's gettin hot in here, and I'm not gonna take off all my clothes, no matter what Nelly says. So anyway, we got to Circuit City and lo and behold there's a $24.99 special on boomboxes. But of course this is like the most piece of shit boombox in the history of audio. I mean, I don't know if I'd bump fukn CNN on this mofo. If the newscasters voice went to low it might blow out the bass drum. So anyway, I made my way up the line, prices increasing, boomboxes getting better. The problem is, that by the time you get to a boombox that sounds halfway decent, you're up about fifty bucks. Well shit, if I'm gonna spend $50 for about $25 bucks more I can get the mini-system downstairs that's on sale. So then I'm checking out the mini systems, and I found a pretty nice Magnavox mini system with dual tape deck and CD and radio for something like $79. Long story short I got dizzy and said screw it. So then we check out the camcorders. Jesus H. Christ camcorders are a fukn nightmare. You got your VHS camcorder, your HI-8 camcorder, and don't even get me started on the fukn digital camcorders. We're thinking about buying one for our trip out to Maui next week for 4th of July weekend. Basically these things run from $250 up to $1,650 and this guys talking to me about digital sticks whatever the fuk that is. I was about to pull the trigger on a pretty snazzy digital one for around $450, but I envisioned myself telling the "technical" guy at work (do all offices have one?) about my purchase the next day and him just laughing in my face. "You bought that one? Holy shit man, for $10 more my cousin Eddie could have got you one ten times better, WITH the digital stick and everything" So it was a further research necessary type deal.

So anyway, long story short, I didn't buy shit at Circuit City, I was just too dizzy after all that and felt my capacity to make a rational decision involving anything over $20 had been seriously jeopardized. So we went to the furniture store across the street and picked up a pretty cool desk lamp. I was getting hungry around this time so we cruised it to a little Korean BBQ type joint and I realized crap I only have 2 bucks cash. So we wander around looking for an ATM. No ATM in the strip mall. Damn. So we walk in Tower Records, and my wife, cool gal that she is, says "Why don't you charge the new Eminem CD on your debit card and get cash back?" Shoots did I marry the right girl or what? So that's what I did. And I know it was a long story but that's how I ended up here this morning with the new Eminem CD (which from the parts I heard last night is very very good) in my briefcase but I'm listening to No Doubt on Extreme Radio. Which is better than Nelly's hot in here song, but not the exact scenario I was pining away for. Ok I'm gonna shut up now and get some work done.

PS - I heard that Worldcom declared Bankruptcy today. Good. Screw em. I still haven't forgiven those shitbags for screwing me out of like $200 bucks that they said I racked up on a phone card like 7 years ago, which was totally BS. Well you piles you got my $200 bucks but you're screwed now. Maybe Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny will bail you out but I don't think so beyatch. At least I'm not bitter or anything.

Aloha and good morning all. Well you may be surprised but I have a deeper subject than the Clippers' draft possibilities in my little noggin today. I am currently reading the autobiography of Malcolm X, which is a fascinating book by the way. The movie doesn't do justice to what to most of the gnarly shit this guy went through in his life.

Anyway, I'm in the part of the book where he's really getting into the whole Black Muslim / Elijah Mohammed thing. As you may (or may not) know, Malcolm X got really into this movement, which was still very small (this was during the late 40's early 50's) when he was in prison. Anyway let's get to the point. Malcolm is in a bible class in prison shortly before his release. The teacher of the class is a blond, blue-eyed, white guy and he's talking about Paul, the apostle. Malcolm asks the guy, wasn't Paul black? Cuz Paul was one of the Hebrews of the time, which were black. The teacher thinks about it and tentatively agrees. Then Malcolm goes further and says well wasn't Jesus a Hebrew too? So wasn't Jesus black too? The teacher shuffles and compromises that Jesus was brown. Anyway the reason this got me curious and thinking is that, if we have serious evidence that Jesus was black or brown (it seems he definitely wasn't white) then why, 50 (Fifty!!) years later, is there a white Jesus hanging in almost every Christian church in this country. Not just here, I've been to Catholic churches in deep Mexico, and there's a white Jesus hanging in there, too. Even here in Hawaii, where Whites are a minority to the Polynesians and Asians, we honor a white Jesus in almost all of our churches.

Now this just got me thinking, if so much has changed in this country, if civil rights, etc., has come so far, how come we're not ready to honor a more accurate rendition of Jesus. What does this mean regarding the mindset of not just the people of America, but the people of the world, regarding race? Why is this an issue that's rarely even discussed? It's something that seems is common knowledge, but it's been kind of brushed under the rug. In other countries around the world, are the Jesuses white, black, asian, polynesian, what? I don't know but I suspect they're mostly white. And one more thing to stick in your pipe & smoke: I think that we will have a black president in this country years before, decades before, we have a black pope in the Vatican. Before we even have a brown pope. What all this means I don't know. My specialty is talking about stuff I only have peripheral knowledge about and stirring it up for discussion. It's up to you to decide how it affects your thinking, if at all.

Now before I wrap this little entry up, I'm debating with myself if I should indicate here what race I am. Does it matter? I like to think that for matters of pure discussion, it has no relevance. However, the mindset we carry with us is a product of the way we were brought up and the lives we have led, and although times have changed, race is a large factor in the things that happen to us. So you may as well know, I am white. What that means for purposes of discussion, if anything, is up to you to decide. I just hope I've sparked a few brain cells out there.

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Aloha party people - Just a quick entry before I duck out of the salt mines for the day. First off, if you only click on one thing on this page click on the Eminem link in the entry below. I don't know how I found this but it is fukn hilarious, you will seriously soil yourself. I know I did. If you like the A-Team and rap music, it's like a reeses peanut butter cup thing, it just can't go wrong. It links to the beginning of an inspirational story, and if the links to the following chapters aren't working, try again later, they seem to go in and out.

Next subject: The Clippers. I'm gonna go on record right here that if they trade Olowokandi, they are freakin idiots. They have to pay this man. He is the only guy in the league that MAY, I stress MAY, be able to go one on one with Shaq in the near future. They are frikin nuts if they let him go, which they probably will, cuz they're frikkin cheap.

Next: for those of you concerned with my music listening issues here in the office (thanks mel), I figured out a scam where I swipe the the little CD player/clock radio in the office next door for the afternoon. The sound is marginal, but I was able to bump my new (new to me) Jay-Z which was quite dope thank you very much. Big plans to hit up circuit city tonight and maybe pick up a new boombox.

And finally: Gotta mention the Dodgers, who are kind of kicking ass right now. I'm not buying my playoff tickets yet or anything, but we'll see. Tough division what with the D-Backs but they look strong. I remember the last time they went to the playoffs they bombed like pooners in the first round against the Reds. I remember showing up to game 1, fired up, me and Booker were about a half hour late and those foolios were already down 2-zip or something. Our buddies Apple-Boy and Gary had seen the destruction and it was down hill from there. Not good times. I do miss Chavez Ravine though and I WILL make it to a game in the next year by golly by gum. Not that I'm a big baseball fan, but I love the Dodgers, good memories and dodger dogs and all that stuff.

OK that's it, I'm outtie like Kirk Gowdy.

Hey all - first off I want to give a shout out to all of my friends that were kind enough to stop by and check out my little site. I think it was a bad idea to put the site meter at the bottom of the page so soon, because I was getting a little obsessive about checking it to see if anyone was logging in. It took me a minute to figure out the reason the number was going up by one every time I checked was that I was the only one looking at it. Ah well. I checked this morning, and sure enough, some of my wonderful friends (and hopefully a few strangers) had clicked there way over here and perused my babblings.

Anyway, I was going to do a whole thing about the Clippers, as tomorrow's draft day in the NBA, and many who know me know that I live and die for the Clippers. I don't know why, but they are definitely my team. Don't get me wrong, I love the Lakers too, the whole bling bling thing, Shaq, Kobe, Phil, even Fish-dog, it's all good. But there's something so damn under-dog about my home town Clips that just draws me to them, like a vulture to roadkill. I'd always liked them, but I really got into them back in 94-95 I think, when they sucked even harder than they do now, and there was a string of newspaper headlines, exlaiming things like "Clippers can't get any worse" and "Clippers bring new meaning to futility" which in my demented mind cemented myself as a fan. I thing it was the idea that they sucked so hard, that if I held on long enough, and they eventually won the championship, I mean, that would be the shit, right?

Well, I'm having a busy day at work, so my whole Clipper entry will have to come later, maybe this afternoon (it's still morning in Hawaii - I gotta change this time entry thing to Hawaii time).

What I really wanted to mention, was that the new Eminem song was playing earlier, the one where he just rips his mother apart. I was thinking, gosh, Eminem has so much interesting stuff to write about, he has such a fucked up life, it's an endless supply of material. Me, I'm a simple, happy, boy. I am very lucky really, insanely lucky. I have a very full life with people that love and care for me. You won't find any stories in here about how I hate my great uncle Joe cuz he used to put his cigarette butts out on my elbow or something. (Aunt Mabel did that, but, well, I never really minded.) The point is, is that to get a little drama, I have to create it. Maybe I should buy a hamster and then like lose it, so I'll have a heart-wrenching story to tell everyone. I guess my point is that I'm glad I'm not like Eminim, even though he has millions and is famous and can rap really good. Cuz damn he seems bummed out.

Maybe my moon is in jupiter or something today cuz I'm in a weird contemplative mood. Ah well, I have work to do. Gotta pay the bills.

PS - Clippers, don't fuck up the draft tomorrow you donkey piles.

PPS - Anyone reading this entry and there's no links in the text, come back later, I plan on putting in mad trippy links on this puppy. The ball will hit the ceiling at approximately 8 billion miles an hour. Trust me on this one. Seriously. for real kine.

Monday, June 24, 2002

Yo yo yo. Well I promised not to talk about movies anymore but I just watched the second half of Swordfish over lunch and I have a few short comments. First off what was with John Travolta's hairdo? That and his little flavor saver beard stripe were kinda bothering me. Pretty good flick though. They found an original way to blow someone up and destroy a lot of shit at the same time so I guess they get credit for that.

This radio controversy I'm having in my office is really on ongoing affair. Extreme radio is playing that crappy "wanna be the one, in a relationship, with me" r&b crap which I think is Usher right now. OK what's next.. wait. Oh big frikin surprise, that piece of crap Puff Daddy (sorry, p diddy) I need a girl who's mine all mine. and puffy, no you're not internationally known on the microphone, you're internationally known as the guy who rode Biggie's (the greatest MC ever) coattails into J Lo's panties, you kook. PS - you heard it here first - J Lo and Puffy are back together. No way, you may say, but trust me, I've got the inside scoops.

So back to my radio controversy, the cd player is broken and I'm bummed cuz I just got a Jay-Z cd (vol. 3) and Outkast (aquemini) this weekend, and I'm listening to fukn Puff. Damn that's cold dog.

Well, I seem to be ramblin again. Maybe I should change the name of this blog to babbling incoherent boneyard joe. Just the word boneyard in the title would probably get me a lot of accidental hits. For people looking for economical graveyards I mean. gawd sicko what did you think? this is a family website for chrissake.


Minority Report was dope. I'm one of those lazy piles that always wants to go to the closest theater, but luckily the wife talked me into trekking into Waikiki to see it on the fat 60 foot screen. I walked out of that movie tripping out, very cool vision of the future. In fact, I was thinking to myself as we dined at Perry's Smorgy restuarant, that it was the best science fiction flick since Blade Runner. I was also amazed that both movies were based on stories by Philip K. Dick, dare I say it the Salvador Dali of literature. I honestly couldn't think of any sf movies since Blade Runner that held a candle, then my wife mentioned Total Recall. Oh yeah Total Recall was pretty damn good, so I threw that in there too. Lo and behold sitting on the throne reading the new Time magazine that night I discover that Total Recall was based on a Philip K. Dick story too. Trippy. The guy got almost nil respect during his lifetime, keeled over at 53, and now he's the hottest literary film source since Stephen King and that Lawyer guy that wrote the firm who's name escapes me right now.

Now I never read the stories that spawned Total Recall or Minority Report, but I did read "When Androids dream of Electric Sheep" which was the basis for Blade Runner. And I use "basis" liberally. I mean the story is almost nothing like the movie, except there's a bounty hunter tracking down replicants. Everything else is different practically. Damn cool story though, but I thought a better movie. I mean I really like that movie. Edward James Olmos was bad ass as Harrison Ford's partner with the origami thing going on.

So I don't know what my point was in all this but Minority Report was badass. Go see it. and don't read any reviews first, go in fresh. So top sci-fi movies (and I heard you're not supposed to say sci-fi but whatever) since 1983 or whatever when Blade Runner came out: Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report. I'm one of the five people that appartently actually liked the new Star Wars movies, but they're not in that league, no way.

PS beautiful weather in the islands this weekend. Cool thing about the movies in Waikiki: you can walk out of the movie, go to your car and get towels and swimsuits, walk to the beach, chill out and read, float around in the ocean, gaze at Diamond Head, catch rays, and enjoy people-watching the tourists. Good times.

Anyway I'll probably check in later this afternoon and talk about something else besides movies so you don't confuse me with Roger Ebert.